En el Día internacional contra el acoso escolar, es importante reflexionar respecto de qué señales de los niños y los jóvenes deben considerar los adultos para advertir posibles casos de bullying o acoso.
En ocasiones se cree que los padres que necesitan hablar sobre Bullying con sus hijos son únicamente aquellos que sospechan que sus hijos podrían estar involucrados directamente en el problema. Sin embargo, generar conversaciones con nuestros hijos en donde se pueda tocar esta temática es una tarea de todos. El Bullying no es un problema entre una víctima y un agresor, sino que es un problema de grupo en donde todos los chicos tienen un rol y por tanto, todos los padres necesitan intervenir. Tomar conciencia de la importancia de nuestra influencia como padres nos abre a la posibilidad de poder comenzar la conversación antes de que suceda, para no sólo prevenir futuras situaciones sino también fortalecer sus competencias emociones y sociales que son parte fundamental de las herramientas que necesitará a lo largo de toda su vida.
Iniciar conversaciones sobre Bullying puede ser un tema difícil, que al generar desorientación y desconcierto podemos postergar y dejar en la lista de pendientes sin resolver. Por eso, desde Equipo ABA (Anti Bullying Argentina) queremos compartirte algunas orientaciones o sugerencias para poder lograrlo.
1. Aprovechar situaciones diarias
Las oportunidades para hablar sobre este tema aparecen de manera diaria, y pueden aparecer en cualquier momento: mientras van de compras, en la plaza, de camino a la escuela, etc. Muchas veces no es necesario preparar un escenario formal para tener esta charla porque las situaciones se dan de manera espontánea. De hecho, los discursos o charlas muy serias, alejadas de las realidades y del vocabulario de los chicos en general no suelen ser muy efectivas.
(L)2. Preguntarles lo que ya saben
En general, siempre es buenos averiguar que es lo que los chicos ya saben sobre el tema, y guiar la conversación involucrándolo activamente, haciendo preguntas, contando experiencias, y sobre todo, escuchándolos y trasmitiéndoles que cada uno de sus comentarios es interesante e importante.
3. Evitá las preguntas directas
Preguntas como ¿estas siendo víctima de bullying? O ¿hay bullying en tu clase? pueden no ser la mejor manera para que los chicos se «abran» y nos cuenten la situación. Te recomendamos que empieces de manera más indirecta preguntándoles por ejemplo como estuvo su día en la escuela o hablando sobre que hizo durante el recreo o sobre sus compañeros de su clase.
4. Practicá la escucha activa
Algunos chicos suelen evitar conversar con sus padres por vergüenza, o por temor a la desaprobación. Haceles sentir que está bien poder hablar abiertamente sobre lo que les pasa en la escuela. En caso de que tu hijo este siendo agresor, anímate a escuchar. Esto lo hace «malo» sino quizás algo le está pasando y necesita tu ayuda. Incluso esta puede ser una oportunidad para el desarrollo de nuevas habilidades y aprendizajes
5. Escucha sin juzgar
Muchos padres suelen criticar a sus hijos sobre la manera en que manejan estas situaciones en la escuela. Evitá frases como: «¿Y por qué no te defendiste?», «Tendrías que haber reaccionado diferente», «No los escuches, hace oídos sordos…hace de cuenta que no existen» – «Defendete como un hombre… andá y devolvela». Si no lo resuelve no es porque no quiere, sino porque no puede. Por eso, tu ayuda es fundamental
6. No lo naturalices
Frases del tipo «Son cosas que pasan, la vida es así», «en mi época también pasaba y siempre fue igual», «¿No estarás exagerando? Tampoco es tan grave», «En todos los colegios pasa» o el famoso «son cosas de chicos» pueden llevarlos a sentirse incomprendidos y llevar a «descartar» a los adultos como un recurso de ayuda. Si queremos darle importancia al tema, entonces necesariamente tenemos que hacerles sentir que lo que dicen es importante para nosotros.
7. Ofrecete como recurso de ayuda
Así como los chicos tienen el claro que los padres pueden ayudarlos con su tarea o en la preparación de los útiles escolares, es importante que ellos también sepan que pueden contar con sus padres para poder compartirles situaciones relativas a aspectos sociales de su vida escolar. Algunos chicos temen que si comparten estas cosas son sus padres, ellos no van a respetar la confidencialidad. Por tanto, es fundamental que ellos sepan que pueden compartir sus problemas con confianza y seguridad. No obstante, si una situación de Bullying se detecta es fundamental saber que uno no tiene que guardar el secreto, lo cual no implica perder la confidencialidad y romper la confianza.
Fuente: TELAM (La autora de este artículo es psicóloga infanto-juvenil, fundadora del Equipo ABA Anti Bullying Argentina)
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